Friday, December 30, 2005

"Ma, Doctor... Where are you guys? Look at me, I'm not just standing there, I'm doing something..."

It's only done that I declare this new blog with a sincere coconut-splitting introduction. Or a delicately elegant ribbon-cutting one. That I bungle into the New Year with a list of somethings - resolutions, objectives, happy moments, whatever.

But here's the truth, Doctor, I'm stuck... Words don't pour, thoughts grow less profounder by the minute, there's this terrible bout of cold-fingers. Where are the mind-blowing sentences I had lined up? The hard-hitting thoughts that plagued me throughout my life till this last moment? The devil-may-care humour that I wanted for copyright?

See Doctor, this is exactly what I meant... I can, I can, I know I can, yet your sombre walls seem to crumble down on me. I am the essential zombied non-performer, your ideal no-show client. From where I look at it, from here in this couch, you are no better off than I am. The world is no better off than I am. Then why am I here? Why do I need a bloody blog to prove myself? And, for that matter, what was it exactly that I wanted to prove? Come again, Doctor, come again...

Very well and in that case, since you refuse to put in a word, let this blog be a quest for the thing I want to prove. Let it be a hunt, Doctor, a wild one, but let me assure you, an honest one. Does that sound novel enough, Doctor? Ask me, then, ask me why I want things to be novel enough... Say something, Doctor, say something...